BDSM pleasures: Collars, belts, toys, and all in between.

Sharing is caring!

Kinks 101: Getting to know BDSM and the activities that lie within

Is sex getting boring and monotonous? Are you looking for extra heat in between the sheets? BDSM may be exactly what you need to make nooky titillating and fresh. But if you don’t know much about this kinky subculture or if it all seems a bit too extreme, perhaps, all you need is a gentle hand. At first, at least. So, let us help you understand what BDSM is about!

BDSM: What is it?

B: Bondage — The act of physically binding and restraining people, usually with cords, rope, belts, tape, or cuffs. 

D: Discipline — Having control over willing individuals. Dominance —exhibiting power over obedient people. 

S: Sadism — Receiving pleasure from inflicting various types and levels of pain and discomfort to others, physically or mentally. Submission — taking commands and relinquishing power to someone more dominant.

M: Masochism — Sexual Masochism is the opposite of sadism, so receiving pleasure by letting others inflict various forms and levels of pain and discomfort to you.

BDSM may sound like torture, but it’s actually about achieving sexual climax through pushing your limits and playig different roles in the sack. How can romping with toys be a bad thing? It’s about collaborative exploration. So if you want to try something new, welcome to the world of roleplaying erotica. 

What role should I play? 

Many people, unknowingly, may have already had some experience with BDSM or D/s sex. Playing the game of submission and dominance is about opening all channels of sensual communication to fulfill mutual fantasies. Seduction, a balance of power, and tension felt during BDSM sessions are used to reach sexual gratification that “vanilla” sex cannot give us. It’s exciting. It is a sport of control.

Use everything available to jump into the role of a character that will whet your partner’s passion: costumes, props, and even scripts. Roles can be permanent or switched. The possibilities are endless and ever-changing. Teacher students. Doctor-patient. Master and slave. Photographer-model. Human-animal. The sky’s the limit. Well, if not the sky, then the ceiling of your BDSM dungeon.

Sex is art — Be creative!

Art is an expression of the imagination, and sex can be art too. BDSM works on the somatosensory system by stimulating arousal through touch, pain, temperature, vibrations, kisses — or the lack thereof. It is both a game of the body and the mind. The possibilities of pleasure are boundless. Feel free to dig deep into your desires. Get very creative with what your skin yearns for. Though being shy and timid is normal, exploring your limits, facing discomfort, and discovering your kink is the path to explosive sex.

Popular toys used to trigger the senses are blinds, whips, chains, and candles. But good and simple tools, for starters, are collars. They can be bought discreetly in virtually every online sex store, just like the LG shop. Collars or chokers are typically worn around the neck of a submissive to indicate ownership. They can be made of leather or any binding material of various textures. 

There are training collars for those getting used to being bound and ones meant to be worn permanently, in secret — or in public. Collars of intricate and delicate designs can be used for aesthetic purposes to stimulate the visual senses or for more hard-core play of literally dragging one around for display. Try them all and see what tickles your fancy.

Safe zones and danger zones — Know the risk and the rewards 

The only rules are those that turn the total experience into pure ecstasy. All sexual activity should be completely consensual. But, because BDSM does involve flirting with boundaries, including slapping, punching, constraints, and even “rape” play, safety measures should be used if the situation goes beyond pleasure, even if pain or discomfort is involved in the fantasy. 

Before anything, determining safe- and danger-zones makes it so that the scenario stays sexy without any of the participants crossing any lines. That means agreeing which body parts are a go or no go and deciding on safety words that will let you bail out if things get too intense. 

Some people use street light colors to signal how comfortable they are with what’s happening. Green can mean “Please continue! I’m loving every moment of it.” Yellow can stand for “It’s good, but please slow down.” Say “red” to let your partner know to stop right away. Use whatever methods work best. 

Remember, the ultimate goal should be an indulgence for all. Knowing and learning the wants and needs of participants and yourself is key to mind-blowing sex, so keep communication flowing like juice. Give and take, offer and receive, say and do — that is BDSM. 

Practice aftercare and heightened communication

BDSM and sexual play are an intimate experience that doesn’t end with the climax. Aftercare is important and involves making sure everything is just as good afterward. 

Many people experience anxiety or “sub drop,” a sudden sadness after a sexual encounter due to hormonal changes and psychological circumstances. Communication and respect are essential in keeping everything positively kinky. 

Help each other come out of character; kindly remove all restraints and bonds, making sure your partner is comfortable. And talk to each other! Rough sex does not have to be cold. Be affectionate and considerate of the psychological needs of all parties involved. You want to leave feeling better than you came. No pun intended.

Sex should always be a deliciously satisfying practice. If you are curious about BDSM, don’t be afraid of a bit of spanking, bondage, or filthy whispers. Be brave and find the courage to make connections with a lifestyle that will make your toes curl.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

seventeen − 10 =